chasing cars

if i lay here, if i just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world...

today was grey's anatomy's final episode for season 2. i told myself i wouldn't cry anymore. i've been crying too much already because of this series. hehehe can't help it. each episode tugs at my heart that i myself can't sometimes comprehend why. the series shows real people, real emotions, real problems. raw reality. it makes me reflect about my life, about my thoughts, my views. it shows me the depths of human emotions. humanity.

weakness. strength. happiness, anger, emptiness, vibrance. life is a roller coaster ride. it has its ups & downs. but what keeps the wheels turning is the truth that we get to decide how we live it. choice. freedom. we are challenged every passing day. we are given the choice to respond. and it's the response that matters most.

i always ask myself, why do i do things this way and that? how come this is how i face life? and the reality strikes me. it's not because this is who i am, but because i'm weak to face who i can be. who i ultimately am. swallowed in weakness, fear. unable to stand up for what i believe in because of what society dictates.

life is indeed a roller coaster ride. but we have a choice to enjoy the ride, with hands high up in the air, swaying freely right & left. life is about making choices. we may make mistakes, yes, but this is how we learn. people may not like us but hey, who are they to judge you? ultimately, it's between you and God.

i have this friend courageous enough to follow the dictates of his heart. and thereby lies his happiness, his freedom. his reason for living. because ultimately, what matters is ... one has to be true to oneself. because only then, that one knows how life can be lived with such zeal & passion.

going back to meredith & derek, can't say that i agree with where the story's leading. and i have a feeling that even if vince has plans for her, she would choose derek because that's what her heart dictates. even if this choice means complicating her life, hurting people, going against what society dictates, in the end... what matters most ... is love. having loved with your entire being, holding nothing back, freely giving & being loved in return... even for once in your life. that's what life is all about.

now i'm leaving you with fave song by snow patrol ... we'll do it all, everything, on our own. we don't need anything or anyone. if i lay here... if i just lay here... would u lie with me and just forget the world. i don't quite know how to say how i feel. those three words, i said too much are not enough. if i lay here, if i just lay here... would u lie with me and just forget the world. forget what we're told, before we get too old, show me a garden that's bursting into life. let's waste time, chasing cars around our heads. i need your breath to remind me to find my own. if i lay here.... if i just lay here... would u lie with me and just forget the world. forget what we're told, before we get too old, show me a garden that's bursting into life. all that i am, all that i ever was, is here in your perfect eyes, they're all i can see. i don't know where, confused about how as well, just sure that these things will never change for us at all... if i lay here, if i just lay here, would u lie with me and just forget the world.